We are not contemporary artists

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Contemporary art is the enemy.

The Other Muswell Hill Stuckists celebrate the job-for-life status of Sir Nicholas Serota, the dullness of the YBA’s, the NME’s of art, the enemies of art, the pandering critics, wine and nibbles private views. suffocating art colleges, galleries with the atmosphere of a dentists waiting room, cool callers, and the stranglehold of the rich on every aspect of contemporary art. Their po-faces will be po-er, and their hatred of Stuckism, more intense.

The general public are to be informed of contemporary arts unartness by continued Stuckist protest and opposition activities.

All art and artists must be removed from contemporary art.

All art must be removed from the Tate galleries, replaced with more conceptual art, new media, installations and the Turner Prize.

As punishment to Jonathan Jones, all Picasso’s must be removed from Tate and replaced with those of his favourite contemporary artist, Rachel Whiteread.

Contemporary art is not to be won over. The air of exclusivity, and business are a lost cause.

To be taken seriously as artists, by a public and art world unable to distinguish between what needs to be taken seriously and what mustn’t, would be an insult. It is essential to be seen as a joke, and our art, as irrelevant crap. Any other response would indicate signs of art in contemporary art. We must protect and divide our true audience from the hoi polloi of contemporary art.

Applying to the RA Summer Show, BP Portrait Award, Cork Street Open Exhibition or the Threadneedle Prize are all acts of treachery.

The Other Muswell Hill Stuckists have no place in contemporary art.

Edgeworth Johnstone of The Other Muswell Hill Stuckists

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